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Saturday, September 22, 2012

Here's something your Mary On Board wouldn't say.....because her instructions would be HELPFUL and FUNNY

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Driving Advice from: Wifeadvice.com

Driving Me Crazy
Here’s where we answer our our readers’ questions. Please don’t blame us if the suggestions don’t work for you. You’re the one taking advice from a donkey.

Dear Donkey and WifeMy husband often asks me to take a turn driving, but then he criticizes the way I drive the whole time. Why does he do this? What can I do?-Stuck at the Wheel

He Says
This is one of the few areas where I think the male mind may be as confusing as the female mind. On occasion I also ask my wife to drive, even knowing that I will have to sit frustrated in the passenger seat, unable to control my comments. Perhaps I can explain some of the things guys think about while they drive. I don’t think you should have to alter your style of driving, but this insight might help you see where he is coming from.
When my wife drives, I can’t understand why she’ll stop behind a line of 5 cars at a light instead of pulling up to the front of the open lane next to us. Whenever I spot a wide open lane, I feel like a special invitation from the heavens has been delivered to me, and I humbly accept the privilege to sit at the front of the line. Perhaps you could relate this to a shopping experience. Imagine you have just spent an hour grocery shopping with your kids. You’ve endured whining, begging for candy, and fights over who is sitting where in the cart. You finally make it to the checkout area; exhausted, you can’t wait to get out of there. Of course all of the lanes have long lines, and you shudder at the thought of controlling your children for another hour while the incompetent cashier fumbles to open little plastic bags. Just then, the light at the next checkout lane turns on, and a fresh, bright looking clerk beckons you—of course you rush to be first in line, in front of all the jealous onlookers. Who would not jump at the same chance on the road?
My wife also doesn’t appreciate the fine art of merging into traffic or changing lanes. She gets very flustered and will let anybody who bullies her go first. We have missed innumerable exits because of this timidity. As a guy, I relish in the opportunity to merge into traffic. It’s like a hot knife cutting through a block of butter, and it gets better as the number of lanes I just cut through increases. It reminds me of when I played Frogger, and the logs would line up just right, allowing me to hop across the whole screen. What could be better? Is it difficult for females to relate since they don’t play video games as much as men? Maybe you can relate it to changing a diaper. Picture the wipe going across the baby, slurping up everything in one fell swoop. Wouldn’t you want traffic merging to feel just like that? Anyway, I hope this insight helps you get a glimpse into our minds and why we think the way we do. As for what you can do, I suggest identifying times when having you drive is not optimal. For example, don’t drive when you are on your way to an appointment or to the movies. If you are like us, you will be running late and your husband will be whining all the way.

She Says
I feel your pain, dear reader. I have been “stuck at the wheel” on many occasions–stuck hearing about what lane I should have gotten into, how I need to drive faster and stop slower, how I ought to be responding a little less courteously to the driver who just cut me off. I usually just sit, trying to figure out what got me into the driver’s seat in the first place. It typically happens when I pick my husband up from work, and thoughtlessly stay behind the wheel, rather than sliding over to the much more relaxing passenger seat. Sometimes it is because I have been specifically asked to drive, like when he needs to work in the car or is about to fall asleep.
Whatever got me into the driver’s seat, though–the only thing that works for me is to repeat my motto: I would be more than happy to let you drive. I usually communicate this motto verbally, but at times drastic measures have to be taken. Like the night at the Blockbuster parking lot. Apparently I turned into the lot rather sharply, and apparently donkeys don’t like the cars they are riding in to bounce over curbs. After being reprimanded, I slammed on the brakes and exited the vehicle, leaving the car running in the middle of the parking lot with the driver’s door opened. Unfortunately, while I was simply trying to communicate, “I would be more than happy to let you drive,” my husband took my actions to say: “I don’t care if the person behind us runs into us, and I also want you to be forced to get out of the car, walk around to the driver’s seat, get in, and park the car yourself. After that you better come in and apologize. And you can bet that we are going home with a chick flick tonight.” I guess it’s true what they say–marriage is all about communication.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Dr. Robyn Silverman: Back Seat Driving Parents

Are you a back-seat-driving parent? 7 Ways to Keep Micromanagement of the Other Parent in Check

blog backseatdriver2 Are you a back seat driving parent? 7 Ways to Keep Micromanagement of the Other Parent in CheckWe all get annoyed when someone becomes a back-seat driver in our own car. “Slow down!” “Speed up!” “Why are you going this way???” Back-seat drivers can make us feel like bumbling fools or they can just simply drive us crazy.  But how can the same type of dynamic play out in the parenting relationship?
“You can’t say that!”
“Do it this way!”
“Just let me handle it.”
Gosh. Isn’t that annoying? Frustrating? Degrading? When one parent continually tries to tell the other parent where to go and what to do when it comes to the kids—or just takes the proverbial wheel out of his/her hands, it creates an unhealthy dynamic– one parent who constantly feels shamed, unsure and/or on the defensive and, what I call, a “back-seat-driver parent,” who hovers, corrects, and micromanages his or her partner.
We all only want the best for our children and our families.  So how can we keep our back-seat driving tendencies in check when it comes to our co-parenting style?
(1) Don’t auto-correct: When you see the other parent handling a problem or interaction differently that you would, pause. Cut the other person some slack! Nobody wants to feel that they can’t do anything without shaming, comparing, and immediate commentary. Remember–Just because they do things a different way, doesn’t mean it’s wrong.
blog backseatdriver1 Are you a back seat driving parent? 7 Ways to Keep Micromanagement of the Other Parent in Check(2) His/her best may be good enough or better: Don’t be so blinded by “your way” that you get in your own way of seeing that his/her way might be good enough or better.  Everyone has something to learn—and yes, everyone has something to teach too.
(3) Do it in private: When you disagree with the way that something was handled, don’t reprimand your partner in public.  Speak to him/her privately about what you disapproved of and how you think things could have been dealt with instead. And, even in private, allow respect to govern the conversation.
(4) Use specific rather than global remarks: Rather than making comments like “you always do that!” or “you are so argumentative!” be specific about what happened. “When you were with Molly this morning, you yelled a great deal rather than putting her in time out like we discussed yesterday.” When we make our remarks specific, you show that you don’t agree with a specific action, when we make them global, they seem like an attack on the other parent’s character.
(5) Open up a discussion as a united front: You are not always right.  When your children are behaving in ways that you don’t find acceptable, have a conversation with the other parent to discuss what to about it. Ask; how do you think we should handle this? Here are some of my ideas…” Listen as well as offering your own thoughts.
(6) Step in only when mistakes are detrimental: If safety or bad long-term repercussions seem imminent, step in. Just know the difference between differences in opinion and harmful conduct.
(7) Remember the values and lessons you hope to teach: When we consistently step in and cut the other parent off at the knees, we can inadvertently convey to our children that the other parent isn’t worthy enough, smart enough, or good enough.  We also demonstrate to our kids that if they have a difference of agreement with someone else—adult or otherwise—they can simply take the controls and do whatever they want. At the foundation of parenting, we always want to conduct ourselves with respect in order to both show respect to the other parent and teach the children the importance of respect in every relationship.
Most everyone has moments of back-seat driver parenting (whether by a co-parent or another family member) so it follows that most parents have also been on the receiving end of auto-correcting remarks or disapproving looks. We all make mistakes. It’s what we do on a daily basis that matter the most. Nobody is perfect—not the other parent, and yes, not you either! Step back and give yourself a break and while you’re at it, give that same gift to the person who is on your parenting team too.  On days that run long and tempers run short, we all deserve one!
drrobynsig170 Are you a back seat driving parent? 7 Ways to Keep Micromanagement of the Other Parent in Check

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Don't rely on your GPS TOO much!

Have you ever been in a car when a driver was paying too much attention to the GPS and not enough attention to the road?

If so, and it resulted in a fender bender, it probably felt like a case of technology failing to do what it’s supposed to— make our lives easier, safer and more entertaining.

Well three women visiting Bellevue Washington for a Costco convention ran into similar trouble Wednesday. According to KATU it was just after midnight and the ladies were looking for their hotel when the driver, lead by the rental GPS unit, drove their SUV down a boat launch and directly into a lake. Neither of her friends stopped her.

No one was hurt— one woman immediately lept to the dock, while the other two balanced on the door frames until the car sunk too deep and they had to wade to safety.

Granted, the boat launch was not well lit, but one has to ask: wtf?

I think the quotes that Lt. Eric Keenan with the Bellevue Fire Department best illustrate this mishap.

“We’ve seen sitcom parodies of something like this and to actually see it is surprising,” he said.

“They were trying to re-route their path and found this boat launch near the entrance to I-90 in South Bellevue and just kept driving into the water.”

“I don’t know why they wouldn’t question driving into a puddle that doesn’t seem to end.”
Well put, Keenan. While it sucks that the GPS lead them astray, this is not the case of technology failing a driver, rather a case of a driver temporarily failing life.